Must write about...
a couple of things.
There's a couple of things that have happened this past month that i've been feeling like I need to write about. I mean, I guess. I should. I dunno!
Today is officially 79 days till the OUR WEDDING. Yay!
On March 31st, I subbed at the high school again for special ed. When I was leaving for the day, the main teacher asks me if I have my degree. I tell her yes, but not in education. She tells me that they are gonna be hiring in that department for the upcoming year because one of the teachers is too sick. :/ She also tells me that she likes how hard I work with the students and likes how I communicate with them, etc. "I just thought you should know!" or something like that...
I guess I'm a sucker for compliments because as soon as I left the building, I started thinking hard about where I might apply and decided right away that I should just get my Special Ed certification already..like NOW. Lol, so I ordered the book. That was like 2 weeks ago though. I need to set a date to take it the exam!
The next day was a Saturday- the FIRST of April!
Doug randomly says we should go to the aquarium!
So let me just say it is not VERY often that Doug suggests we do something other than game or watch something. I know the main reason for that is that he's usually too lazy or tired from working or we know we have to save money for the wedding. I actually felt bad agreeing to it a little because going to the aquarium means we'll be spending for tickets, gas, probably food! Ugh. But I agreed anyway cause I love outings and the aquarium and spending time together outside of the house!
My silly dude actually got on one knee and proposed again! He gave me a cute speech and everything. He gave me my old promise ring that I had lost. (I didn't even realize it was lost...i thought i had it in a jewelry box or something.) He had it cleaned and resized because it used to always fit me a little big. I can't believe that we still feel the same about each other after 8+ years. It's so nice and fun! I know we are both lucky/blessed. :D The day was super windy, a little overcast but overall really nice. We fed the stingrays-that was a first, touched the jellyfish- i don't remember ever doing that before, took photos, took photos for other people. It was just a swell time.
Afterwards, we went to the mall. I had convinced Doug earlier that we should go look for his suit for the wedding! He agreed half heartedly- he hates shopping. I understand. He tried on a handful of suits/jackets with different colored shirts underneath. I was pushing navy on him but he decided he definitely liked dark gray better. I'm okay with that. He should be able to choose what he's wearing anyway, right? Part of me was shocked that he was able to pick that day! We got in line to pay and they asked if we wanted to apply for the JCP card and we agreed cause we'd get 40% off that purchase. They kinda twisted our arm there.
We were on our way out of the store but I decided we should check out the wedding bands there really quick too because why not? Doug tried on a couple plain bands. He settled on a silver band. I like how gold looks on him better but I'm glad he went with silver because my band and ring are silver too so if they get a picture taken together...they'll match. (Dumb, I know.) So now we have his ring and his dress clothes! Woot!
Today is actually a WEEK since I went away to the Women's retreat in San Antonio. I've been like dreading writing about it cause I didn't know how it would sound or I guess I didn't want to think about how I felt during it. It's been a long time since I've wanted to go to a conference or a retreat.
And I had already been attending that church for like a month. (Emmanuel Christian church) Obviously, a month is not very long and really, at this point I've only spoken to the pastors, one of the ushers who is a leader for the Missionettes, and maybe two other older ladies. At the beginning of March, I believe, one of the older women who is a veteran there, made an announcement/invitation to the retreat and she had a really silly way of inviting us. It kind of reminded me of the way that I would of invited people. She said something along the lines of "having an amazing time last year, coming back feeling high off the Lord, growing spiritually..."
I mean, going to this church- I actually started feeling comfortable for the first time in a church since arriving to Kingsville. That's eight months-without having a church home to feel comfortable in. That's disappointing to me... Anyway, I told Doug about wanting to go and he asked for more info from the Pastora- who is actually a teacher in the same school he works at! Cool! He withdrew money for me so I could go.
Today is Thursday and last Thursday is when we departed. I got picked up by the pastor, Janie-the usher lady and Delia- the one who had made the invite! They were all kind to me on the ride and it was an easy ride to Skidmore first then Kenedy and finally to San Antonio. We got our room keys and I sat with them in their room for a while. Then I went to drop off my stuff in my room where I'd be rooming with Laura, the worship leader, Arlene, the wife of the guy who plays guitar and Sandra, she's in charge of Missions groups. I felt okay so far... I went down to officially meet the girls in the lobby area and Arlene mentions something about "you must be blah blah blah..rooming with strangers.." or something. I mentioned that my sister said that if anyone could do it, it would be me!
I don't even remember what he did in the meantime... < OKAY i already took like a 15 minute break from writing cause I don't wanna write anymore!>
Long story short, I ended up feeling pretty depressed at some points. I mean, granted, I was on my period. I know I have heard some girls say that they think periods are an excuse for having feelings and emotions and being hormonal. I guess they're entitled to their opinion, but that's stupid to me.
Anyway, at some points, I really wanted to cry and it wasn't because I was so lucky to have the Holy Spirit come chill with me but because I felt so sad and jealous that I was there without my friends or sisters or mom. I kept seeing people embrace each other and I'm usually the one being embraced- lol. It really put into perspective the whole -being away from family- thing. I might be weird or odd because I'm really the type of person that doesn't ever really miss my family or Doug or my friends. I'm usually just fine on my own. But that's what was different I guess. I wasn't on my own. I was surrounded by SO many ladies. So many of them were there with their family or my group for example-these ladies have been friends for years. Yearsssssss. I also have to note- they were very sweet to me. The girls in the room next to us- Patricia, Elda Nelly and Viviana were so so nice to me. They let me follow them around, looked behind them to make sure I was still with them, tried hard to include me, would text me when they were going down to the lobby or to go eat, invite me to go driving around with them, etc. So I can't say I had a bad time because I was completely alone. It just felt like I was. It was a strange sensation. Even thinking about it now makes me feel sad. I haven't had such a bad emotion like that in forever. I don't regret going because I did get to hear the Word and on the last day, the sermon did hit me. The lady who preached, Melissa Alfaro, talked about what God will ask us to do when he is stretching us. She stated 7 things. The first one was: 1. He will ask you to do something you have never done. (Check- I mean, I was there in a new situation, with new people, in a new place...) 2. He will ask you to invest time, effort and resources in something that is not about you. (Check? I felt like at that moment I was also investing a lot of effort? But maybe not because I feel like I went to the retreat for me- to gain more knowledge and to be closer to God..that's about me, I think.) The list goes on and not all of them apply to me- but I don't think they all have to yet. Anyway, after altar call and prayer, I finally let my sorrowful waterworks come out as I prayed because I couldn't hold it back. Honestly, the last day, I felt such a crazy yearning for my mom and I really never feel that way. (Even right now, my eyes started watering.) It was 11 am on the Saturday that we were supposed to leave and I just felt so homesick. All throughout the trip, I tried to keep my head up and tried to be happy and remember I was there to praise and worship and learn and grow closer but the enemy really had a fun time with me, I guess.
Before we left San Antonio, all the ladies wanted to go eat at the Cheesecake Factory. It would be the last thing I had to do before going home. I was going to ride with the ladies I came over with but then I heard they wanted to go shopping. (omg, the sad girl inside of me wanted to start crying again)
I asked Patricia if I could ride home with them because they were going straight home. I let Janie know and I got my bag out of her car... I think Patricia noticed my face too and I just admitted to her that I felt homesick and I really missed Doug..
The car ride back with the girls from next door was actually pleasant. I really enjoyed the conversations I was having with Viviana and we all talked about weddings because they are all married. I asked for pictures and they all showed me theirs and it made me feel a little happy. Like I said, they were all very nice to me and even Elda and Viviana told me they were really glad I came along and that it felt like I had been a part of their group all along.
Even now, I have mixed emotions about it. I don't know why. Maybe the enemy is trying to ruin a potentially good thing. But yea, that was that. I am home now and the day after tomorrow is Valley Time and getting my passport and hanging out with fam!
I've been subbing more lately and on my off days i've been lazying pretty hard. I finally felt like getting out of the house earlier today so I went to the park with my pets. Met Doug for lunch and ate at the cemetery.
There's a couple of things that have happened this past month that i've been feeling like I need to write about. I mean, I guess. I should. I dunno!
Today is officially 79 days till the OUR WEDDING. Yay!
On March 31st, I subbed at the high school again for special ed. When I was leaving for the day, the main teacher asks me if I have my degree. I tell her yes, but not in education. She tells me that they are gonna be hiring in that department for the upcoming year because one of the teachers is too sick. :/ She also tells me that she likes how hard I work with the students and likes how I communicate with them, etc. "I just thought you should know!" or something like that...
I guess I'm a sucker for compliments because as soon as I left the building, I started thinking hard about where I might apply and decided right away that I should just get my Special Ed certification already..like NOW. Lol, so I ordered the book. That was like 2 weeks ago though. I need to set a date to take it the exam!
The next day was a Saturday- the FIRST of April!
Doug randomly says we should go to the aquarium!
So let me just say it is not VERY often that Doug suggests we do something other than game or watch something. I know the main reason for that is that he's usually too lazy or tired from working or we know we have to save money for the wedding. I actually felt bad agreeing to it a little because going to the aquarium means we'll be spending for tickets, gas, probably food! Ugh. But I agreed anyway cause I love outings and the aquarium and spending time together outside of the house!
My silly dude actually got on one knee and proposed again! He gave me a cute speech and everything. He gave me my old promise ring that I had lost. (I didn't even realize it was lost...i thought i had it in a jewelry box or something.) He had it cleaned and resized because it used to always fit me a little big. I can't believe that we still feel the same about each other after 8+ years. It's so nice and fun! I know we are both lucky/blessed. :D The day was super windy, a little overcast but overall really nice. We fed the stingrays-that was a first, touched the jellyfish- i don't remember ever doing that before, took photos, took photos for other people. It was just a swell time.
Afterwards, we went to the mall. I had convinced Doug earlier that we should go look for his suit for the wedding! He agreed half heartedly- he hates shopping. I understand. He tried on a handful of suits/jackets with different colored shirts underneath. I was pushing navy on him but he decided he definitely liked dark gray better. I'm okay with that. He should be able to choose what he's wearing anyway, right? Part of me was shocked that he was able to pick that day! We got in line to pay and they asked if we wanted to apply for the JCP card and we agreed cause we'd get 40% off that purchase. They kinda twisted our arm there.
We were on our way out of the store but I decided we should check out the wedding bands there really quick too because why not? Doug tried on a couple plain bands. He settled on a silver band. I like how gold looks on him better but I'm glad he went with silver because my band and ring are silver too so if they get a picture taken together...they'll match. (Dumb, I know.) So now we have his ring and his dress clothes! Woot!
Today is actually a WEEK since I went away to the Women's retreat in San Antonio. I've been like dreading writing about it cause I didn't know how it would sound or I guess I didn't want to think about how I felt during it. It's been a long time since I've wanted to go to a conference or a retreat.
And I had already been attending that church for like a month. (Emmanuel Christian church) Obviously, a month is not very long and really, at this point I've only spoken to the pastors, one of the ushers who is a leader for the Missionettes, and maybe two other older ladies. At the beginning of March, I believe, one of the older women who is a veteran there, made an announcement/invitation to the retreat and she had a really silly way of inviting us. It kind of reminded me of the way that I would of invited people. She said something along the lines of "having an amazing time last year, coming back feeling high off the Lord, growing spiritually..."
I mean, going to this church- I actually started feeling comfortable for the first time in a church since arriving to Kingsville. That's eight months-without having a church home to feel comfortable in. That's disappointing to me... Anyway, I told Doug about wanting to go and he asked for more info from the Pastora- who is actually a teacher in the same school he works at! Cool! He withdrew money for me so I could go.
Today is Thursday and last Thursday is when we departed. I got picked up by the pastor, Janie-the usher lady and Delia- the one who had made the invite! They were all kind to me on the ride and it was an easy ride to Skidmore first then Kenedy and finally to San Antonio. We got our room keys and I sat with them in their room for a while. Then I went to drop off my stuff in my room where I'd be rooming with Laura, the worship leader, Arlene, the wife of the guy who plays guitar and Sandra, she's in charge of Missions groups. I felt okay so far... I went down to officially meet the girls in the lobby area and Arlene mentions something about "you must be blah blah blah..rooming with strangers.." or something. I mentioned that my sister said that if anyone could do it, it would be me!
I don't even remember what he did in the meantime... < OKAY i already took like a 15 minute break from writing cause I don't wanna write anymore!>
Long story short, I ended up feeling pretty depressed at some points. I mean, granted, I was on my period. I know I have heard some girls say that they think periods are an excuse for having feelings and emotions and being hormonal. I guess they're entitled to their opinion, but that's stupid to me.
Anyway, at some points, I really wanted to cry and it wasn't because I was so lucky to have the Holy Spirit come chill with me but because I felt so sad and jealous that I was there without my friends or sisters or mom. I kept seeing people embrace each other and I'm usually the one being embraced- lol. It really put into perspective the whole -being away from family- thing. I might be weird or odd because I'm really the type of person that doesn't ever really miss my family or Doug or my friends. I'm usually just fine on my own. But that's what was different I guess. I wasn't on my own. I was surrounded by SO many ladies. So many of them were there with their family or my group for example-these ladies have been friends for years. Yearsssssss. I also have to note- they were very sweet to me. The girls in the room next to us- Patricia, Elda Nelly and Viviana were so so nice to me. They let me follow them around, looked behind them to make sure I was still with them, tried hard to include me, would text me when they were going down to the lobby or to go eat, invite me to go driving around with them, etc. So I can't say I had a bad time because I was completely alone. It just felt like I was. It was a strange sensation. Even thinking about it now makes me feel sad. I haven't had such a bad emotion like that in forever. I don't regret going because I did get to hear the Word and on the last day, the sermon did hit me. The lady who preached, Melissa Alfaro, talked about what God will ask us to do when he is stretching us. She stated 7 things. The first one was: 1. He will ask you to do something you have never done. (Check- I mean, I was there in a new situation, with new people, in a new place...) 2. He will ask you to invest time, effort and resources in something that is not about you. (Check? I felt like at that moment I was also investing a lot of effort? But maybe not because I feel like I went to the retreat for me- to gain more knowledge and to be closer to God..that's about me, I think.) The list goes on and not all of them apply to me- but I don't think they all have to yet. Anyway, after altar call and prayer, I finally let my sorrowful waterworks come out as I prayed because I couldn't hold it back. Honestly, the last day, I felt such a crazy yearning for my mom and I really never feel that way. (Even right now, my eyes started watering.) It was 11 am on the Saturday that we were supposed to leave and I just felt so homesick. All throughout the trip, I tried to keep my head up and tried to be happy and remember I was there to praise and worship and learn and grow closer but the enemy really had a fun time with me, I guess.
Before we left San Antonio, all the ladies wanted to go eat at the Cheesecake Factory. It would be the last thing I had to do before going home. I was going to ride with the ladies I came over with but then I heard they wanted to go shopping. (omg, the sad girl inside of me wanted to start crying again)
I asked Patricia if I could ride home with them because they were going straight home. I let Janie know and I got my bag out of her car... I think Patricia noticed my face too and I just admitted to her that I felt homesick and I really missed Doug..
The car ride back with the girls from next door was actually pleasant. I really enjoyed the conversations I was having with Viviana and we all talked about weddings because they are all married. I asked for pictures and they all showed me theirs and it made me feel a little happy. Like I said, they were all very nice to me and even Elda and Viviana told me they were really glad I came along and that it felt like I had been a part of their group all along.
Even now, I have mixed emotions about it. I don't know why. Maybe the enemy is trying to ruin a potentially good thing. But yea, that was that. I am home now and the day after tomorrow is Valley Time and getting my passport and hanging out with fam!
I've been subbing more lately and on my off days i've been lazying pretty hard. I finally felt like getting out of the house earlier today so I went to the park with my pets. Met Doug for lunch and ate at the cemetery.
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